Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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