CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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