It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
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So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
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still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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