I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
