Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
false alarm. still invincible.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
