So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
