It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
