im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
