I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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