I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize