Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
