have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
