i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize