So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
