Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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