My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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