and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
