just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
