The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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