you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
