I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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