oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
