Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we made out on top of his cat.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
