you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
