I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
