You really coming over, don't trick.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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