I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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