just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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