So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
