come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize