I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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