There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You dont lie about slip and slides
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize