He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
