No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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