The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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