it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize
