Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
