I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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