I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize