Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Pappa wants mamma naked
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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