Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
