I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
