i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
