i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
