I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
