I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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