So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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