sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
