do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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