he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
