Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
