Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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