you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
