Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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