why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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