Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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