i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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