sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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