I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
