if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
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I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
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just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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