they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
