You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
