I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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