why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
