dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
