Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
