Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
